Saturday, March 13, 2010
It's 4am. I went to bed at 11pm. I feel like crap, my chest and stomach hurt, my knee is killing me, and my anxiety is through the roof. I feel like I'm falling apart. The Army method of telling myself that nothing is wrong until I pass out is not helping. The lack of sleep, frustration with no progress, and the strain I am putting on the ones I love is getting to me. How do I stop? How do I get a hold. I'm flailing. Off to watch Hulu till the sun rises.....
Thursday, March 11, 2010
So upon petting my needy cat Angel, I noticed she has a new gash above her eye. Fighting with fat brother Lu? Well after further inspection, she also has new issues with her teeth. Time to go to the vet tomorrow. She has already had half her teeth removed and we have been informed that this will remain an ongoing issue. So Juli and I find ourselves asking, "how much is her life worth?" I know this is a horrible question, but if she is really sick we may not be able to afford the care she needs. On top of that how much pain do we let her endure with her tooth issues before we put her to sleep? She is a total sweetheart, but a sick one.
Juli and I have always wanted kids but have not found the right time to have them. We were lucky enough to have a really good friend from work that just so happened to get pregnant in 2006 and Lilly was born in 2007. Recently baby number two Paige was born in December. Since the beginning Juli and I have taken on these two great girls as our pseudo children. I am in hopes that we can settle down soon and start a family of our own. And NO we will not give up our fun time with Lil and Paige. Recently Juli and I took a trip to San Francisco with the kids. The Exploratorium is great for both kids and adults. Below I posted pictures and videos of our excursions.
Our morning started with a great breakfast.
Paige doing what Paige does best.
Lilly learning what getting REALLY dizzy feels like.
By far the best part of this trip, gotta love simple bubbles.
(The pink thing on Lil's back is a backpack equipped with a leash. The little lady is fast.)
A nice snack break on a great day.
Paige sleeping through the ENTIRE process.
I think this is a great place to play, watched by angels.
Paige-Still Sleeping, Lilly-Sleeping, Juli-On the brink of collapse, Michael-fending off the homeless and watching for our bus.
After a long day what's better than a blanky, bear, and chocolate milk?
Wow, Paige is finally awake, as we head home. Great timing.
This is great.
Simple, yet entertaining.
Hopefully it's not toxic. She got a mouth full every time she popped one.
Lilly Dances to her sister fussing?? HAHAHAHA....
So, overall the trip to SF was a success. Here is where this blog differs from Facebook or Myspace. I need to get the emo crap out and get some feedback. In watching these two children (2 month old and 3 year old) I found something in myself. I had a inclining of this since Lilly was borne but this weekend brought it to my attention. I felt an extreme comfort in hanging out with the family. It was so simple, watching the kids do there thing takes me away from all of life's daily BS. I felt a security in that there was a primal need to protect and provide for these kids that were relying on me. It was an amazing feeling. I'm not going to lie, it is a process for sure and it consumes every moment of your life. The lack of sleep and hard decisions are made easier by enjoying all the little nuances of kid life. Am I ready for kids right this second? No. But in 9 months???? HAHAHAHAHAHA..... TBD.
From Left: My Brother Matthew, My Wife Juli, and Me
(Our wedding reception)
From Right: Me, Juli, Our Friend Meghan, and Co-Worker
My awesome wife rockin' out at our wedding
Juli making friends at Marine World
My parents Lorri and Chuck
(4th of July at our cabin)
My favorite picture of my beautiful wife
My best friend Simon
Another great picture of Juli
Just a touch of my life.....
So since this is my first blog, I guess that I should give my background and a breakdown of who is what?
Who:I am currently 26 years old and am married to a wonderful intelligent woman by the name of Julianna Lawless (formerly Codde). We have been married nearly 4 years now. My parents live close by in Sacramento, California. They are Charles and Lorri Lawless, I have one younger brother Matthew who is 21. I have several friends that you will see pop up in later posts.
Where:I have lived in the greater Sacramento area my entire life. I was born and raised (for the most part) in Placerville, California. I did however live in Sacramento, California for a few years during grade school. I was in San Diego for a month and then there are my Army locations. I will break down the Army situation in a later post, but I did reside at Fort Leonard-Wood, Missouri and Fort Sam-Houston, Texas.
This is a loaded question. I have seen and done many things in my life. I think that is the purpose of this blog. So over time you will get the answer to what it is I have done in my life.
Important dates in my life:
- Born 12/16/1983
- Juli born 07/31/1985
- Brother born 06/15/1988
- Grandfather died 10/08/1988
- Graduated High School 05/26/2002
- Grandmother died 11/14/2003
- Married Juli 04/29/2006
- Graduated with Associates Degree 09/10/2008
- Joined Army 04/14/2009
- Exited Army (Honorably) 11/04/2009
- Started my blog 03/11/2010
- K-3 Scnell School in Placerville, Ca
- 3-6 Starr King in Carmichael, Ca
- 6-8 Herbert Green in Placerville, Ca
- 9-11 Ponderosa High School in Shingle Springs, Ca
- 12 Union Mine High School in El Dorado, Ca
- 13-14 Folsom Lake College in Folsom, Ca
- 15-15.5 CSUS in Sacramento, Ca
- Current 15-16 University of Phoenix in Roseville, Ca
- Collier Plumbing in Placerville, Ca (Tech/Admin)
- Papa Murphy's Pizza in Cameron Park, Ca (Pizza Maker/Shift Lead)
- At Your Service (Tech)
- The Home Depot (Sales Associate)
- Western Sierra Bank (Teller)
- SVS (Shop Help/Handyman)
- AAR ATICS (Inventory Specialist)
- Blue Shield of California (Customer Service/Provider Service)
- Carmax (Sales Associate)
- Sign Post (Installer)
- Lowes (Sales Associate)
- Sears (Appliance Tech Dispatcher)
- The Green Plumber (Tech)
- U.S. ARMY (Combat Medic)
- Placerville, Ca
- Folsom, Ca
- San Diego, Ca
- Carmichael, Ca
- Diamond Springs, Ca
- Fort Leonard Wood, MO
- Fort Sam Houston, TX
There are certain things I would like to achieve in my lifetime. I have managed to check several things off my ever growing list, however I still have many ambitions. I want to be useful, to help someone (or anyone). I want to have a family. I would like to build my own home. I would like to be financially secure. I want to travel. I would like to leave a legacy for my kids by doing the right thing and leading by example. More to come ; )
There is a lot more to come.